All Possibilities or No Possibilities?

These are some thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that happened from a semi-recent experience. A large part of them are caused by others' lack of understanding of my perspective when it came to what I care about most - money or time? They are also caused by my previous lack of perspective with not seeing when certain people will help me in a bad siutation and when others will not - the true understanding of the word "circumstance".

Generally speaking, our online hiring system is limited with the timing of applying, interviewing, and landing a job. I understand there are so many possibilities to have a job so homelessness is not where one ends up finding themselves. I will share specifics of the timing and limitations of our system that happened during this time in another article.

There are many options available for asssitance when times get tough, but what many who have a job don't consider is when someone else's mind does not see all possibilities given a circumstance - when someone doesn't see all their options, and instead, sees none. For me, I decided to stop vices for a while (addictions/co-dependencies) and at that time is when everything fell apart professionally. That is not to say I regret my desicion, quite the opposite, but it was a large factor. I learned how much timing is an important reason why anything works out for anyone and even the smallest changes in timing can make a huge difference in the outcome of one's future - people underestimate this within our online systems as well as each person's "clock" of knowing or not knowing information, which impact our choices. Getting a job and being able to work to afford living is connected to timing and limitations of these systems and the people within these systems - whether it is with the jobs themselves and circumstances keeping it, or assistance until the job is secured.

My experience of learning circumstance with our hiring online world got to a point where it was a matter of life/death during a 3-6 month period. People who I thought would help my animals and I didn't help, and people who I was most scared about asking for help did (strangers/different family) long enough for me to change the outcome of my life. The people who would not help (yet claimed I needed help), didn't because they didn't understand what my circumstance was and didn't care to ask about it. I tried to explain, it didn't matter no matter how I respectfully I tried to communicate. I understand being on regular speaking terms prior to asking for help is a large factor in when people trust one another, but the reasons WHY people are not on speaking terms is a huge factor in who has not cared about an individual and who has cared (it is the difference between who can maintain and clearly communicate their boundaries respectfully and who cannot). This is another way to look at circumstance that "keeps the system going" because people do not communicate clearly and respectful, or if they do, they have alterior motives.

If it weren't for my actions (and God's), this experience may have led to animals and I to nearly losing our lives in a hurriane. I learned when people are not safe to be around or trust for something serious in my life now, and it is about circumstance as much as it is about the person his or herself. I knew if I felt safe to think about my options at that time, the lack of money was not the reason for being in my situation, it was the lack of time to do what I needed to do to turn things around, i.e., apply for unemployment in a safe environment. I am thankful to those that were there for my animals and I during that time.

Word of advice, do not risk uprooting your life in efforts to care about loved ones safety without preparing for it (yes, that was a large irony of the situation). If you believe you cannot prepare for it and their safety is a priority as in the case with me, then seek out help from family first so you can plan things out. You do not want to be in a situation I was in where the people you are trying to help would leave you stranded if things go south, your mindset is not seeing the full picture due to circumstance, and the system doesn't accommodate what you need because of your specific circumstances. There is a major difference in understanding why my actions led to a bad sitation and seeing it too late, as opposed to asking for help from people and they are careless because they don't or haven't related to my experience. There should be a line between judgement/games and curiousity/reality. In our world, that line is blured and people in a shitty experience tend to sees it after something shitty happens.

The sad reality that I believe needs to change: if people don't relate to your experience, they won't care to help. I now know given what I was willing to do even during my most traumatic times that mindset does not apply to me. Since money and information are the things that cause people to "survive" in our world, those are humanity's form of "natural selection" for when bad situations are occuring. If it feels like you may not be in a safe situation in the future given what is currently happening, make your safety (kids and animals included) the priority first, then others. Last piece of advice, maintain boundaries with EVERYONE for when communication is easy-going and a game compared to when it is serious and not a game. Otherwise it is likely to eventually result in a near life/death experience (or a true one).